Shifting Sands
by Elennar
Summary: Aftermath of Kantou Tournament where Tezuka Kunimitsu lost to Atobe Keigo and severely injured his left shoulder. What will Tezuka do now that he could no longer play tennis?
1. Chapter 1

**Shifting sands**

Summary :  
Aftermath of Kantou Tournament where Tezuka Kunimitsu lost to Atobe Keigo and severely injured his left shoulder. What will Tezuka do now that he could no longer play tennis?

Chapter 01

Tezuka Kunimitsu bends over the Student Council schedules, pen tapping lightly on the table, eyes unfocused in deep thought. The courts outside echoed with the sound of tennis balls. His gaze shifted back to the brochure Ryuzaki-sensei had given to him.

He had declined the scholarship and opportunity to study abroad. He didn't want to leave Seigaku without fulfilling his promise, to Oishi, to himself, to Yamato-buchou. There was still time. He could go, after .... He would be 14 only once.

But this time, it was different. The new brochure was for a sports medical facility. Germany. It's so far away. It will take so long. It might not even help at all. Only a few more months, Kantou Tournament and National Tournament season would be over. Could he bear the pain for just a few months? He frowned and turned the brochure over, fiercely staring at the white back cover. He could and he would!

Ryuzaki-sensei watched Tezuka from the corner of her eye. She recognized that look in his eyes. Inwardly, she sighed and wondered again why she seems to get only stubborn students this year. One, worse than others.

"Tezuka."

"Hai?"

"Don't misunderstand this. I will not allow any student to play with an injury." She looked directly into Tezuka's eyes, ensuring he understood exactly her stand in this. "It's not negotiable."

Tezuka endured her gaze for a moment, then lowered his head. "_He's a smart boy,_" she thought to herself. "_I don't have to repeat this message. I don't like being hard on him. He's hard enough on himself. But, that's why I'm the coach. Tough choices, Tezuka. I'm sorry I have to be tougher on you, for your own good._"

Tezuka overturned the brochure again, staring at the front cover. His shoulders drooped slightly as he acknowledged that he had been overruled. "Hai," he answered softly. "I will consider it."

Tezuka did not show up at practice that evening. He took the train home before they were finished. He didn't want to face their worried and expectant faces. Not yet. Not even Oishi. Not when he did not have any answers to offer.


	2. Chapter 2

**Shifting sands**

Summary :  
Aftermath of Kantou Tournament where Tezuka Kunimitsu lost to Atobe Keigo and severely injured his left shoulder. What will Tezuka do now that he could no longer play tennis?

Chapter 2

"_Tezuka Kunimitsu! What are you doing? You cannot play. You are useless like this. What are you going to do? What should I do?_"

Tezuka did not change from his school uniform. But he could not stop himself from going to the tennis courts. It was all he could do to wait until everyone had started practice. He watched silently at their hard work. Oishi seemed to have everything under control. He turned around and walked away. "_There is nothing for me to do here._"

Final class of the day. Tezuka was secretly relieved that he did not share any classes with the other third years.

"_Germany ... I might not get back in time. I might not get back at all. I want to play. I have to play._ _I can't let it end here. I made a vow. We will forge a path together, to the Nationals_. _We will play with no regrets._" He rubbed his left shoulder; the constant dull ache did not abate. A sharp pain lanced through him when he touched a nerve. _"I cannot play!_"

For the first time in his life, Tezuka did not pay attention in class, staring out the window. The Maths teacher, Terada-sensei chose to ignore his behaviour. He knew it was due to the news circulated by the Tennis Club members. Or maybe his stellar past exams. The teacher knew he would not allow himself to fall behind. Preferential treatment or pity? Both left a sour taste in his mouth. Sensei should have punished him. "_Am I really this pathetic?_"

Tezuka's eyes widen slightly at the thought. "_I really am pathetic. Pull yourself together, Tezuka Kunimitsu. You are the captain. Captain's duty does not end with__ just playing matches. __What are you doing? You have your duties to perform. Do not avoid them. I will not tolerate rule breaking. Especially from myself._"

The bell rang signalling the end of school. Terada-sensei watched the students packed up when he caught the eye of one of his best students. He watched silently as Tezuka walked slowly to the front desk and bowed low before him.

"I am sorry for today, sensei. It won't happen again."

Terada-sensei nodded, accepting his apology. Ah ... if only all his students were like that. He didn't even have to lift a finger to discipline the boy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Shifting sands**

Summary :  
Aftermath of Kantou Tournament where Tezuka Kunimitsu lost to Atobe Keigo and severely injured his left shoulder. What will Tezuka do now that he could no longer play tennis?

Author's note: There's quite a bit of dialog taken from Episode 73 as I try to weave Tezuka's interactions with his team mates and stay as close to the timeline as possible.

Chapter 3

Last night had been rough and tiring, another all-nighter at the tennis plaza. He had not played with his right hand since his first year. His control had deteriorated. He would have overslept if his mother had not awakened him.

Everyone had all ready started by the time Tezuka arrived for morning practice. He quietly observed them a few minutes before going to change. It's time for him to face the team and fulfill his duty. If he did not bring his racket to the court, Ryuzaki-sensei would not call him out. The Kantou Tournament had just started. They still have a long way to go.

"Buchou!" Momoshiro yelled in surprise. Time stood still as they stared at him.

"It's been a while, Tezuka. Are you feeling well? I thought you had forgotten all about Tennis club," Oishi teased him, diffusing the tense atmosphere.

Tezuka looked sternly back. Discipline was sliding a little if his presence distracted them so easily. "Did I interrupt practice?"

Oishi heard the underlying challenge to Tezuka's question, "_You want to say something?_". Oishi shook his head. "N-no." No, not right now. Not in front of everyone. Personal conversation with Tezuka was neither spoken verbally nor in public.

Tezuka scanned the faces before him. None of them dared to voice their uncertainty. He answered their unspoken question all the same. At least, the question on the surface. The club needed some reassurance after all. "It's fine. Just continue." The personal one was none of their business.

He observed the regulars as they turned back to their trainings. Oishi and Inui had them well in hand. Good. The non-regulars were getting a little neglected though. Tezuka worked his way among the first years and second years. These will be the future of Seigaku. They were ready to be pushed one step further. All it took was a few encouraging words here and there, some small corrections to forms, and advice on training. The team was shaping up well.

At the end of practice, he received three separate social invitations from the regulars for that evening. He accepted them all in the spirit they were given. It's their way of reintegrating Tezuka back into the group after his absence, bringing Tezuka back from his self-isolation.

That evening, Tezuka met up with Inui after school. They walked to the park to idle the time away until it was time to go to Kawamura's shop. Inui filled the silence with reports on the other school line ups and recommendations on training for the team. Suddenly, Tezuka stopped, eyes riveted on two young boys playing tennis. Based on Inui's data, Tezuka's habits and behaviour were certainly a bit off that day. He appeared distracted and preoccupied. Fuji may be right about Tezuka's state of mind. Perhaps it was time for Inui to change tact. Talking to Tezuka was never straight forward, despite Tezuka's bluntness.

"Did we look like that when we were younger?" he said. "Bright eyes filled with hope. Believing that you can return every shot." He followed Tezuka to a park bench. "It's amazing, huh? Tennis is something that, once you get involved, you can't pull out. I wonder why?" Was he getting closer to the mark? Yes, Tezuka's chin lowered by 5 cm.

"Compared to when I first started tennis, I feel several times more lost now... Don't you think so, Tezuka?" asked Inui quietly. Inui sat patiently beside Tezuka. He knew it would take a moment for Tezuka to think his way through. As Inui watched the children play in the silence that was Tezuka, he hoped he had conveyed the message clearly. "_Tezuka, the team is a reflection of you. When you are lost, so are we,"_ he thought.

"_Lost?_ _Am I lost?_" Tezuka thought. "_I am lost, aren't I. Lost my way. Lost my courage. I've been afraid to find the truth. Afraid I will go to Germany only to be told it is too late. Afraid that leaving Seigaku at this critical point will be a fatal mistake. Afraid I would come back and found out I should never have left. As Ryuzaki-sensei once said, Seigaku cannot survive Kantou tournament without me in the line-up. But she won't register me in this condition. Should I re-appeal? I don't think she will back down. There must be a way for us to win Kantou Tournament. I can't afford to leave Japan. But I can't remain like this either. It is affecting morale."_

_"Are you so helpless, Tezuka Kunimitsu?" _he scolded himself. _"Stop delaying and find a way. There must be a way._" All he said was, "Aah." He had been lost after all and too blind to see it.

Inui wrote in his notebook: _Tezuka raised chin by 70 degrees. Mission accomplished._


	4. Chapter 4

**Shifting sands**

Chapter 4

"Tezuka, I asked nee-san to make a Tarot reading last night." Fuji leaned nonchalant against the same pillar.

"Hn."

"It was three card spread. Star, Hangman, Death. Nee-san said it's a good reading. But I don't feel reassured…. Ah! Oishi is here."

Tezuka stood a little aside as he watched Oishi's awkward attempts to persuade the team to go mountain climbing. It was Oishi's way after all. He knew mountain climbing was one of Tezuka's hobbies. Oishi was showing some initiative to build morale and cheer Tezuka up as well. However, Oishi did not have the commanding presence to lead properly. "_I will stand aside and see what happens. Sorry, Oishi. It might get a little painful for you for a while. You can be friendly and nice, but it is not enough. Without respect and will power, you can't control them. What will you do, Oishi?_"

Watching Oishi's crestfallen face, Fuji stepped up and tried to rescue the moment. Soon, Kawamura, Inui and Kikumaru joined in too. "_I should not have been surprised. Although Fuji is rarely proactive, he will step forward when someone he cares about is hurt_." Tezuka's line of thought was broken when Oishi threw him a questioning look. "_Ah, Oishi, this is not Tennis Club. You don't have to look to me for approval._" Nevertheless, Tezuka gave Oishi a slight nod in appreciation of his thoughtfulness.

Tezuka could not help brooding in silence during the long train ride. His thoughts circled round and round, looking for something. "_What can I do? I must open a way for all of us. Kawamura is still recovering from his injuries. We are short of players this time. Our next match is Jousei Shounen. After that, most probably Rokkaku with that old coach. We might be able to win without going to Singles 1._"

Tezuka turned to see Momoshiro wave poker cards enthusiastically. He turned back to staring at the dark night sky. "_Rikkai Dai Fuzoku. We will definitely face Rikkai in finals. They will be tougher than Hyotei. No one in Seigaku has played against Yukimura and Sanada, except me. Even playing right handed, I will not be able to stand up to Yanagi, much less those two. Inui would want to play against Yanagi. Should I let him? Between those two, it might get personal. But Yanagi may be the wall that Inui needs to break down. Echizen is not ready for Sanada yet. Perhaps Fuji, if I can get him to play seriously. I wonder if Yukimura will be able to recover by then. Who can play against him? Not one of us. Perhaps, in the time we have left, I can prepare Echizen for Sanada. Perhaps we can take the championship without going to Singles 1. Somehow, I doubt Yukimura will let me get away with it so easily._" The view outside was as dark as his thoughts. It was fitting somehow.

"_Even if I cannot play, I cannot leave Japan. There is so much to do. It will be a little painful for everyone. I hope I can push all of you a little higher. This will not change our dire situation when we go towards Nationals. Maybe I will be ready to play right-handed by then. Sensei. Oishi. Even if I never play tennis again, I will not let Seigaku end here. I know it will end my dreams in pro tennis if I keep playing like this. But if I cannot overcome this hurdle, I do not think I will ever be ready to take that next step. I just have to find a way. A better way for all of us._" Tezuka closed his eyes, overwhelmed by the enormity of the task ahead of him. It felt like the ground dropped under him, mired in quicksand.

The voice of Yamato-buchou echoed in his mind. "_Tezuka Kunimitsu. You are Seigaku's hashira[1]. Hashira cannot buckle under pressure or weight. Hashira stands before everyone and blaze a trail for others to follow._"

"_Yamato-buchou, what if the hashira is planted in shifting sands? How do you make it stand upright?_"

Yamato Yudai had laughed and tousled Tezuka's hair. "_You ask such serious questions, Tezuka-kun. You will have your own answer when you grow up._"

[1] hashira is literally translated as 'Pillar of Support'. However, it always sound a little clunky to me since hashira is used metaphorically to mean something on which others depend for support, and/or foundation. Keystone or cornerstone might have been a better equivalent.

Author's note: There's quite a bit of scenes taken from Episode 73 as I try to weave Tezuka's interactions with his team mates and stay as close to the timeline as possible. The intriguing part about Tezuka is that a lot of things are under the surface.


	5. Chapter 5

**Shifting sands**

Chapter 5

"It's sunrise, Oishi-senpai," said Echizen Ryoma.

"Sunrise! We did it! It's sunrise!" came the resounding cheers.

The warm light washed over Tezuka's upturned face. Morning always bring new counsels. In that moment and in that time, Tezuka knew anything was possible, as long as they had each other. Tezuka-sized hole would allow everyone to grow a little more. It was so natural how they fill it, a little bit from each, in turn, in their own individual way.

"It's great that you came," said Fuji quietly, seeing the subtle change in Tezuka. "_This is what we wanted to say, Tezuka. In the way only you would understand."_

Inui smiled a self-satisfied smile. He wrote in his Tezuka notebook: _Tezuka frown lines reduced by 2.73%. Eyebrow angles flatten by 4.9 degrees. Shoulders raised by 2.3 mm._

_Fshuuuu … Buchou, we had learned to speak your language of silence like it's common-sense. It is the most concise and sincere language._

_Let's beat up the other schools, buchou. It will be fun, yes it will be._

_Hoi! Hoi! We want to push you higher too, Tezuka. Let's fly together!_

_Tezuka-buchou, losing to you is bad enough. I won't lose to anyone else until I defeat you!_

_We had all leaned on you. Because you are always there, supporting us, we could the play our individual tennis. This is my last year, playing tennis. Let us play to our hearts' content._

Oishi eyes shone in the sunlight as he gave Tezuka a private smile and determined nod. _Tezuka, y__ou have led us so far, for so long on this path. You shown us what is possible, taught us how much further we can go. Now let us show you how far we have come._ _Let us support you, Tezuka. Please lean on us too. We will not break._

"Tezuka, hurry up, hurry up!" Kikumaru called.

_You have given us wings, now let us show you how well we can fly._

"Aah."

He knew now, Oishi's way was not Tezuka's. That was all right. Seigaku's Tennis Club would do well with Oishi at the centre. All the third years would support and help Oishi, because he was Oishi. They would look out for each other, as Tezuka and Oishi had done for them. They would look after the juniors and guide them in Tezuka's absence. He could leave them with a clear conscience. Together, everyone had found a way for Tezuka.

"_Have you found your answer, Tezuka-kun?_"

"_Yes, Yamato-buchou._"

~ The End ~

Author's Note: This started as a one-shot scene between Ryuzaki-sensei and Tezuka, which would have ended with just one line change at the end of chapter one. But I was intrigued by Tezuka and Inui's conversation, which dragged it this far. Tezuka is a character with deep thoughts and few words. I hope I've captured part of the subtext that underlies Tezuka's demeanour.

Thank you for reading. Please leave a review.


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